Episode 4 - History Eraser

INTRO

Welcome back to the Parallel Lines Project - the podcast where I separate fact from fiction and hopefully tell you an interesting story. I’m your host Mark Moldowan.

Que Theme Music

On this week’s podcast, History Eraser. Revisionism, denial, ignorance - call it what you will, but most people just don’t know much about history and it can be a problem. I’ll take a look at the ever growing trend of making shit up about our past in order to make stupid points about the present from Stephen Harper to Donald Trump. This one will get a little political soput on your thinking caps and please don’t email me about my biases. Then the recipe; this will actually be part one of a two-part recipe. I’m going to go a bit more simple today and teach you how to roast a damn good chicken. Hold on to your carcass too because next week we’re going over stocks and soups.

But first,

ACT 1 - CORRECTIONS, OMISSIONS AND GENERALLY SHOOTING THE SHIT.

Thanks for the feedback on the last show. I’m happy to see that there were no hiccoughs this time. It looks like the podcasting gods have finally smiled upon me. I’m also happy that I have yet to see any complaints regarding the content. A lot of people are ears deep into the MLM world and it hurts sometimes to hear the truth about their projects. People really dig the idea of fast, easy money and predators like NuSkin and Herbalife take advantage of this. I also want to make it clear that you aren't necessarily stupid for falling for these scams. MLM organizations are huge behemoths that employ very intelligent and convincing people to pimp their products. I know very intelligent people that have fallen for these schemes. Lapses in judgment are pretty common - especially if you’re in a tough place, like being unemployed.

I also want to point out a few other MLM scams that you might want to be aware of: ACN, Amway Global / Quixtar, BIM / Business in Motion, Efusjon, Fortune Hi Tech Marketing, IJango, Lyonesse Red Flags, Mannatech, PrePaid Legal, USANA Health Sciences, Visalus and YTB / Your Travel Biz are all blatant MLM scams. Please avoid them at all costs.

Now on to a lighter note before we dive head-first into today’s topic. I’m getting kinda sick of all of these Onion fake-news rip-off sites that are popping up everywhere. While the Onion has an impeccable writing staff with a sharp wit, most of these sites seem populated by unfunny, meme-regurgitating college students that wouldn't know funny if Mel Brooks dickslapped them in the face.

This week I read a really terrible article that originated from one of these satirical sites entitled “Man Killed 27 People After Being Transplanted Heart of Serial Killer.” Besides the headline gore and obvious lack of any originality whatsoever, the article made its rounds on social media. A quick fact-check would find the original article was from the World Daily News which has published many hilarious pieces of satire such as “George Lucas Admits C-3PO based off of Gay Friend” and “Yoko Ono Had Affair with Hillary Clinton in the 70’s.” Careful with that edge there. My sides.

I’m still not sure why these types of articles get so much traction on social media. Not only are they so unbelievable, but they don’t even read like proper news articles. Ah well, I guess shock value is still alive and well.

ACT 2 - HISTORY ERASER

Mark Twain once said something along the lines of “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it often rhymes.” The more I read about history the more I’m not sure how true that is. You see, we are really under the impression that history is some grand narrative that culminates in today. We think we can see our past and learn about our future using it. It’s true history gives us a lot of insight into our present day, but it’s not as simple as reading a narrative and fitting it into our own views. People like to find patterns where there is none.

I’ll begin today’s topic by discussing a semi-recent news article. Donald Trump, AKA the Donald, AKA Trump, AKA Donald “the fascist” Trump has recently opened his new Trump International Golf Club in Sterling Virginia with a bit of fanfare since it will be hosting the PGA in 2017. The opening had all the theatrics you would expect from a crazy man with the world’s most impossible comb-over. On the course there’s a plaque that reads “many great American soldiers, both of the North and South, died at this spot,” the inscription reads. “The casualties were so great that the water would turn red and thus became known as ‘The River of Blood.’” Sounds super historic and crazy Mr. Trump.

Something smelt fishy to the local historians who began to question ‘the River of Blood’ plaque. Probably because the whole thing was made up out of whole-cloth. There was no battle in Sterling or at that site on the river. When pressed, Trump shot back “‘How would they know that?” Mr. Trump asked, when told that local historians had called his plaque a fiction. “Were they there?’” Well, it’s not like the American Civil War was an extremely recent and well documented war in historical terms. Oh wait. It was.

The whole thing reeks of anti-intellectualism and a profound lack of understanding of history in general. Trump isn’t even the only one who does this. Earlier this year during the debates regarding the confederate flag in the US, many people were coming out of the woodworks to whitewash history in order to prove their regional symbol had nothing to do with the evils of slavery. Hell, in 2012, this even happened in Canada.

The Harper government made a big deal about the 200th anniversary of the war of 1812. From watching the TV ads commissioned by the CPC you would have the impression that the war was a solidifying moment in the Canadian national identity. In reality, the War of 1812 was a small step in the long process of Canadian independence. Yes, if the Americans successfully annexed the British Colonies that would become Canada our country wouldn't exist, but that really is the extent of how much impact the war had on our identity.

First of all, the majority of soldiers fighting for “Canada” in the war were members of the British Expeditionary Force and were born and raised in the UK. They also did not settle here. They fought to protect a far-flung but strategically important colony in their globe-spanning empire.

The government also pressed hard the involvement of Tecumseh and his confederacy as a part of our history. In reality, Tecumseh was a brilliant military commander that saw the writing on the wall for all Native people of North America and decided to stage one last-ditch effort to save his people. With his death, his confederacy began to collapse and the British turned their back on their allies in order to cut a more favourable deal with the Americans. The whole thing is more of a lesson on how poorly we treated the First Nations than a triumphant tale of cross-racial harmony.

Ultimately this push to rewrite Canadian history to mimic our neighbours born-in-blood historiography failed. We didn't drink the kool aid and most people were turned off by the celebration.

These are more harmless examples of revisionism. When you start down this rabbit hole you start to understand where this kind of thought can lead - ideas like Holocaust denial and Armenian Genocide denial are the most extreme end of this spectrum.

People like to take something like history and shape it to fit their narrative. Because history, unlike the hard sciences, is sometimes up to interpretation people tend to run hog-wild with it. In reality, historical consensus is reached through thorough, unbiased research and debate among people who dedicate their lives to understanding the ebbs and flows of humanity.

It’s something someone with a bad combover and an MBA can’t really understand.

ACT 3 - THE RECIPE

Well that was thoroughly depressing. Now it’s time to ease the pain with delicious chicken. So it’s the first night of Hanukkah today and I feel like celebrating yet another Jewish holiday that celebrates our ancestors barely escaping total destruction with a delicious chicken recipe. Yeah, it’s not a traditional Jewish dish, but it’s a necessary start for next week's dish. Like I said, earlier, you’re going to have to keep the carcass of the chicken. Make sure to freeze it if you’re waiting more than a few days to use it. Roast Chicken is such an easy but important thing to master. You can do so much with it after you carve the meat off of it.

So to start off, you will need the following:

1 whole 3-4lb chicken

1 lemon

2 tbsp of olive oil

3 sprigs of Sage (I use purple sage from my garden)

Kosher Salt (this is important!)

Black Pepper

First, preheat the oven to 450°F. Rinse the chicken inside and out and pat dry with a paper towel. Make sure it’s really really dry. What you’re doing is preventing any sort of steam for forming around the chicken. This allows the skin to crisp up and lock in the moisture in the meat. Next, sprinkle the Kosher salt and Black Pepper over the chicken and inside the cavity. I can’t stress enough how important it is to use Kosher salt. Basically, the salt is ground in larger kernels which suck up any moisture on the skin. Let it rest for a minute to let the salt work it’s magic. Next, slice the lemon in half and shove inside the chicken. Then add two sprigs of sage stems and all into the cavity. Cross the legs together and tie tightly with kitchen twine. Then bend the wings under the back of the chicken. This is called trussing the bird and is important to do to cook the chicken evenly. Next, pick the leaves off the last sage sprig and coarsely chop them. Brush the chicken with olive oil being careful to keep as much f the salt on as possible. Then, sprinkle the sage over top of the chicken breasts. Place the chicken on a roasting rack in a pan then place in the oven. You can also just rest it in a cast iron skillet lined with root vegetables like carrots, potatoes and onions cut into bite-sized pieces.

Place that baby in the oven and roast for about 50-60 minutes or until the internal temperature of the thigh is at least 165°F. You can also pierce the skin, and if the juices run clear it is cooked and ready to go. Let it sit for 15 minutes then carve and serve.

Make sure to remove the crap stuffed inside the chicken carcass after carving it up and before freezing or refrigerating it. Then keep it for next time and I’ll tell you how to turn that carcass into another meal.

Well, that’s it for episode four of the Parallel Lines Project. Hope you enjoyed it. If you liked it please leave your comments and rate it on iTunes. You can also see the transcript and show notes at markmoldowan.com/podcast . All music on this podcast is under the creative commons license and was found at the Free Music Archive. Our theme song is Against the Wall by Boxcat Games, other music included two songs by the Freak Fandango Orchestra - Mundo Canabal and Requiem for a Fish.

Have a great week everyone, and keep it weird. And happy Hanukkah!

Episode 3 - Money Trees

INTRO

Welcome back to the Parallel Lines Project - the podcast where I separate fact from fiction and hopefully tell you an interesting story. I’m your host Mark Moldowan.

Que Theme Music

On this week’s podcast, a warning. This topic is going to be a bit less light hearted than the last two and I’m sure I’ll get some angry emails but - Money Trees. We all want one. Fast cash. Easy income. A good way to make money for yourself. No one wants to work a dead-end, nine-to-five for a boss they hate - but is there really an easy way to make money? There’s a few companies out there that think so. And they want to share their secrets with you. Just be careful - if it sounds too good to be true it probably is.

Then for the recipe - slow cooker butter chicken. This recipe is pure awesomeness. I usually make huge batches of this, freeze it in portions and use it as a quick and delicious dinner for lazy weekdays. Super simple too.

But first.

ACT 1 - CORRECTIONS, OMISSIONS AND GENERALLY SHOOTING THE SHIT.

Hopefully third time's the charm. I’m aware a rough cut was uploaded for the last episode - and I apologize. Hopefully the ghost of Harold Ramis won't take revenge on me. If I wake up and my phone still says November 23rd I’ll know I’m in trouble.

I also wanted to point out a few other cities that had some pretty cool underground city tours. Both Portland and San Francisco have pretty extensive underground cities as well that can be checked out. Again, never been on these tours so this is not really an endorsement so much as a general awareness announcement.

I also want to point out what one listener had pointed out to me - the Canada Post tunnel was actually from Waterfront to the old Canada Post headquarters that no longer exists - not the current location. As well, the tunnel was not built for the war in particular - though it was used extensively during this time - but as a quick and easy way for mail to be transferred to and from Waterfront while avoiding the Downtown traffic. Shit - traffic downtown must have been a nightmare even back then.

I’ve also had a couple of questions about the direction I’m going with this podcast. I really haven’t in tended to keep these stories local to Vancouver. The first rule of writing is write what you know and writing a podcast is no exception. Trust me, I’m not going to only do Vancouver stories, but it’s inevitable that they will show up from time to time just due to my geography. That and I fucking love this city and I think there’s a lot of people in the dark when it comes to local culture - and I’m including old-stock Vancouverites in this too. I mean, there’s a reason our city is used by Hollywood as a generic backdrop for multiple locations - we actually believe we have no history or personality here and it sucks. Some fucking cool shit has happened here and I love sharing it with people. End rant.

Now on with the show.

ACT 2 - MONEY TREES

So I may not have been truthful with you. I don’t actually technically live in Vancouver proper. I live in the GVRD, or Greater Vancouver Regional District. Basically, I’m a suburbanite. I live in Richmond to be exact - if you’ve ever been to Vancouver you have probably been there. It’s where the airport is.

Well, in my not-so-little suburb, just around the corner from my house there’s a small commercial block littered with warehouses, office buildings and a really terrible greasy spoon that I have shamed my body at way too many times. Shout out to the Golden Coin - you’re resturaunt may be dirty, your menu questionable and your patrons surly, but you make a mean wonton soup. Also they have a burger named the Royale with Cheese. They have no idea what the fuck a quarter pounder is.

Anyways, in this business block is the western headquarters for a company by the name of NuSkin. I used to work in that same block and drove past it to park nearly every day. It was a huge building too. This isn’t some small, one or two office building, this was a two story complex complete with warehouse space.

I was curious as to what they did so naturally I looked them up. I don’t think I was prepared for what I was about to find. A bunch of people arguing.

You can look up some of these arguments yourself just by plugging in “is NuSkin a scam?” into your search engine of choice. At first glance all you see is proof of the saying “opinions are like assholes - everyone’s got one.” However looking in just a little deeper there’s something just not sitting right with NuSkin.

You see, NuSkin is a Multi-Level Marketing company - or an MLM for short. The basic idea is simple - you sign up with the company for a small fee to become a certified distributor. You then buy product at wholesale from the parent company and sell it directly to friends and family. You get to keep the difference between the wholesale and retail cost of the items. You get to work from home, be your own boss and make fat stacks of cash all while selling a product that will miraculously prevent you from aging.

I’m not being facetious either. Check out the company’s tagline - OUR DIFFERENCE IS DEMONSTRATED THROUGH OUR OPPORTUNITY. AT NU SKIN, PROFESSIONAL DISTRIBUTOR LEADERS THRIVE AS THEY INSPIRE AND EMPOWER OTHERS. DISTRIBUTORS’ LIVES ARE BETTER TODAY BECAUSE THEY JOINED NU SKIN. WE ARE COMMITTED TO PROVIDING THE BEST OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE YOUR DREAMS A REALITY.

Of course it’s in all caps.

You also see a lot of stories in comment sections of videos and on blogs about people making six figure incomes. You hear a lot of repeated words - financial independence, six-figure income, positive thinking and so forth. People swear up and down that they are making tonnes of money or at least know someone who is. If you read some of these reviews, NuSkin is the perfect place for positive thinkers to make bank.

NuSkin, by most accounts is a scam. No questions about it.

First let's look at the facts. Being a publically traded company, NuSkin does have to file reports regarding its business to the US Government.  It can be difficult to read through their reports, and at first glance you see some pretty impressive numbers. When looking at their footnotes - which actually read like a report within a report considering how big they are - 95% of their distributor commissions are intentionally left out of the body of the report. Wading through the numbers further, the average commission for a NuSkin distributor is $600 USD per year in 2012. Only 451 people made over $15,000. That’s 0.2% of all distributors. This, as well, is just the commission each rep earned. It does not take into account the cost of promotional items or of any unsold product.

This doesn’t even paint a total picture of the problem.

NuSkin refuses to report their specific turnover numbers, though they admit that it is “high.” As well, according to Barron’s Magazine, in order for all of their reported profits and payouts to make sense, at least 65% of their product must be sold to people completely unaffiliated with the company. these numbers as well are not actually reported. The company claims their sales are well within this estimate, but have actually no evidence to back this up. Besides, think how easy it would be to hide or skew this data.

NuSkin’s biggest response to these accusations is that the proof is in the pudding - they are a publically traded company and have been routinely voted onto Forbes most trusted companies lists. They are also still operating after nearly 30 years in business - if they were just another pyramid scheme how would this be possible?

The answer is simple. They straddle a legal grey area and being a publically traded company means nothing when it comes to integrity. Look up Tycho.

They also have been successfully prosecuted in the past.

In the 90’s multiple US states had successfully settled with NuSkin over claims regarding the potential income of their distributors. the FTC has also legally forced them to pay damages and rescind claims regarding the potential for for distributors to turn a profit.

Lets look at their mission statement again:

OUR DIFFERENCE IS DEMONSTRATED THROUGH OUR OPPORTUNITY. AT NU SKIN, PROFESSIONAL DISTRIBUTOR LEADERS THRIVE AS THEY INSPIRE AND EMPOWER OTHERS. DISTRIBUTORS’ LIVES ARE BETTER TODAY BECAUSE THEY JOINED NU SKIN. WE ARE COMMITTED TO PROVIDING THE BEST OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE YOUR DREAMS A REALITY.

Notice how in their official communications not once do they mention anything about financial independence or making money. However, if you ever do get dragged into one of their recruitment sessions, the potential for self employment and financial independence is a huge point. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think $600 bucks is enough to live on for a year.

The company has also plunged its hooks into the US government. in 2011, journalists linked the two CEO’s to millions of dollars donated in superPACs and a company spokesman was elected into the US Senate in 2008.

The problem with NuSkin and the MLM business model in general is that it’s literally impossible to survive on. The model is totally skewed towards those who can recruit more people to sell the product. It’s impossible for a single person to do enough direct to consumer sales to make any sort of real money. However, the story they tell is totally inspiring. It’s the American dream - get the money you deserve for your hard work. Build your own business. To butcher Steinbeck - Americans are not poor, their temporarily embarrassed millionaires.

The product they peddle as well is absolute snake oil. I won’t get into the exploitation of scientific illiteracy in the idea that a cream or a vitamin supplement can be used for gene therapy, however I will point out that in 2011, a consumer advocacy group analyzed a supplement peddled by NuSkin and found that it failed to live up to even the content requirements.

MLM is inherently cult-like. It’s exploitative and it’s financially ruinous to nearly every single person involved. Those in the system dogmatically defend it. However, the tables do seem to be turning.

In December of 2012, a couple of New York hedge fund managers actually did something useful for once. They began to question a publically traded MLM by the name of Herbalife regarding its business practices. The answers were embarrassing causing Herbalife to drop nearly 30% in value on the New York Stock Exchange. This rippled into other MLM’s including NuSkin. On their website, NuSkin proudly reports it made of $3 billion in 2013. You see, they use 2013 because they’ve been on a pretty steady decline since. In 2014 they made just over $2.5 billion and their stock has been dropping ever since.

Last year as well, the government of China began an investigation into NuSkin as part of a crackdown on pyramid schemes.

In the end, if money was as easy to make as many of these companies claim it is, everyone would be a millionaire.

I guess Steinbeck was right.

ACT 3 - THE RECIPE

Money just doesn’t grow on trees - and because of that we need to save where we can. The recipe this week is great for that. This is a completely delicious and authentic butter chicken recipe that is super inexpensive to make, is easy to prepare and is just plain tasty.

Now before we start, a few things about Indian cooking: masala’s are basically spice mixes. Each one is a little different from brand to brand, but they generally contain the same stuff. If you want to make this from scratch, go right ahead. If not, a good Indian grocer should have everything you need.

So first up, the ingredients:

1 lb boneless chicken thighs cut into bite-sized pieces

1 onion, diced

3 cloves garlic, minced

2 tbsp butter

2 tbsp oil

15 green cardamom pods

2 tsp curry powder

1 tbsp curry paste

1 tsp cayenne powder

2 tsp tandoori masala

1 tsp garam masala

1 400 ml can coconut milk

1 cup plain yogurt

1 5.5 fl oz can of tomato paste

Salt to taste

First, using a needle and thread, thread the cardamom together into a kind of rope. Place them in the slow cooker with the thread coming out the top. this will make it way easier to remove them at the end. Heat a frying pan to a medium-high heat. Toast the dry spices in the pan and set aside. Heat the oil and butter. Cook the onion and garlic until translucent and fragrant. Add the chicken and brown. Add the entire contents of the pan to the slow cooker, then add all of the other ingredients. Stir until well mixed and put the slow cooker on low for 6-8 hours. Serve with naan and basmati rice. You can also garnish it with a bit of chopped coriander.

Oh, and if you want it mild, don’t add the cayenne and use mild masalas.

Mmmm…. Butter chicken…

Well, that’s it for episode three of the Parallel Line Project. Hope you enjoyed it. If you liked it please leave your comments and rate it on iTunes. You can also see the transcript and show notes at markmoldowan.com/podcast . All music on this podcast is under the creative commons license and was found at the Free Music Archive. Our theme song is Against the Wall by Boxcat Games, other music included in this podcast is credited to their respected artists in the show notes.

Have a great week everyone, and keep it weird.